Let the conversation begin!

As your daughter is about to face significant life and physical changes, she needs your help and advice to get through and make the best of the new phase.

Indeed, girls are gorgeous and unique, and raising a girl child comes with great rewards in Islam. However, parents must put in the work.

Aaishah (radhiyaLlāhu anhā) said, “A woman by the name of Jameelah came to me with her two daughters. She asked me for charity but found nothing with me except a date, which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself. Then, she got up and left. After this, the Messenger of Allah(sallaLlāhu alayhi wasallam) came, so I narrated this story to him. Then he  said: “He who is involved in the responsibility of nurturing daughters and is generous to them will have them as a fortification for himself against the Hellfire.” – AlBukhari and Muslim.

Do you remember what body changes during puberty were like for you? You may not remember every detail, but you can not forget how you wondered “what’s going on?”

Beyond western and Islamic education, your responsibility is to put your girl through puberty, as this world is too polluted to leave your girl unprepared for it. She needs to stand on her feet and make the right choices when you are not available to make them for her. 

Puberty is when your girl gets confused about so many changes happening to her simultaneously. The best gift you can ever give her is to help her navigate the journey of womanhood.

The girls who have their transitioning smooth, switching through with enthusiasm and ease, are those whose parents have prepared them for it all.

If you do not create an avenue for a smooth relationship between your girl and you, the pubertal stage could be a separation between you and her because you have created a gap, which will get wider as she navigates alone. 

Although, at puberty, your girl could develop a sense of independence which is normal, she could also experience some distress because there is still a childish part of her that she doesn’t want to let go of. However, as time goes on, she will come to realise that she is no longer a child and she needs a coping mechanism for growing and surviving independently without feeling detached from you, her mother and/guardian. 

Apart from the physical changes, here are some signs you will see when your girl reaches puberty: 

  1. Sense of Independence: Your girl will feel more confident in making certain decisions for herself and could become more assertive.
  1. Sense of Privacy; She will start enjoying her company by spending more time alone. Don’t be disturbed; she is only trying to figure out her new life. While you give her some space and privacy, you should still stay close enough to support and guide her.
  1. Mood Swing: Your girl’s emotions will become stronger and more intense. Her mood will change more quickly and irregularly. She may become more sensitive and easily upset without tangible reasons. This is because the hormones are not only changing her physical characteristics, but also her mood and emotions.

How To Help Your Girl Cope.

  1. Awareness: creating awareness about the physical changes she will start experiencing is vital to help her deal with them efficiently. It is crucial for you as a parent, especially mothers, to talk to your girl about these changes as she is near puberty. 
  1. Buy her age-appropriate books:  Getting her a book suitable for her age is an excellent and brilliant supplement to talking, as it gives her a chance to explore and learn about the changes on her own.
  1. Encourage her to ask any questions; Encourage her to ask questions she has and discuss her fears. Discussing sexual changes and feelings can be challenging and even awkward for you and your girl. However, it is your duty as a parent to make them feel comfortable talking about it by using the right and age-appropriate words.

If your daughter has questions about body changes and other things contributing to this developmental milestone, you should consider getting a copy of Dear Damsel. This book will help your daughter understand puberty and also help you know how to answer questions to get her prepared for the changes ahead.

Dear Damsel will help your daughter understand exactly what’s happening with her body. It will help educate your girl about puberty and serve as a resource to you, too.

I went into great detail on several subjects, including puberty, menstruation, mental health, personal hygiene, chastity, personal development, and lots more.  

Dear Damsel is filled with detailed guides with evidence from the Qur’an and Sunnah to buttress every topic. The book concise and easy to understand.

Get a copy on Amazon or Barnes and Noble

If you’re in Nigeria or neighbouring countries, you may preorder DEAR DAMSEL and get your copy after the launch on 17th December 2022.

Price: #3250 (Price after launch #3500)

For wholesalers (Minimum of 10 copies)
Price: #3000 per copy

Pay to:
Jaiz Bank
Khadijah Tijani
Send your proof of payment to 08025489447 (WhatsApp)

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© Doctor KT