Muslim life

It breaks my heart when I see a Muslim girl making grave mistakes as a result of misguided exposure to the realities of growing up. This often happens when her parents or guardians do not prepare her for these realities.

Many Muslim girls become timid in the face of temptation because they have no one to put them through what is right or wrong. Hence, they act on reflex and are influenced by societal and peer pressure, leading to a disaster that could have been avoided through honest conversations with the parents/guardians.

What is this conversation that every Muslim parent and guardian must have with their teenage girls? It is SEX EDUCATION.

The reasons most Muslim parents shy away from this discussion are due to many factors, some of which are;

They deem it immoral to discuss sex education with their girl child.
Some see it as a cultural taboo to discuss sex education.
They lack the knowledge of what sex education entails, what topics should be treated and how to approach it.
They simply cannot face the reality that their girl is no longer a child.

These and more reasons are why Muslim girls get educated from the wrong sources.

Sex education is essential and should be encouraged in the Muslim community.

Parents should be intentional about the need to educate their girls on basic level of sex education at puberty, with more advanced information as they grow older and more matured.

In today’s world, where there are so many crazy ideologies going on, and some of these ideologies are embedded even inside the school curriculum, Muslim girls need a double dose of self-confidence through a heart-to-heart talk to guide them while they navigate through adulthood.

Educating Muslim girls on sex education will help them to know more about their bodies and their reproductive health, and how to avoid sinful sexual affairs.

Sex education should be step-wise and age-appropriate. It revolves around all the necessary knowledge of body changes, emotions, cultural and religious responsibilities, etc.

If we take a critical look at the rate of teenage pregnancies today, it is glaring that most of these teen girls lack knowledge about the risks involved in a sexual relationship before marriage.

Society, schools, and religious leaders have their share of the blame. However, the more significant percentage of this blame will go to the parents, especially the mothers, because as a mother, you should be closer to your daughter than anyone else.

Here are tips to guide you as Muslim parents to talk your child through sex education.

Be your daughter’s best friend:

Embrace positive parenting and accommodate your girl, so she feels safe and comfortable sharing things with you. Many girls are scared of talking to their parents because mummy will shout at them and beat them. They hide so many things from their parents. Hence, you must be your girl’s best friend to connect with her heart-to-heart.

If your child is always excited when you are not at home and always moody when you are around, it could point to your strict parenting method. This method will not yield a positive result when raising children, especially girls. Do not let your girl find solace outside your home.

Take things slowly:

A step at a time. Be patient with your girl in communication. She may not be quick to give you feedback, most likely if you are just starting to connect with her but do not get discouraged, and when she starts telling you things about what she is going through, do not be in a rush to judge or criticise her for her to be vulnerable with you.

Be the best role model to her:

Your daughter will take after your positive and negative qualities by default. So be the example of a woman you want your daughter to become. Be her role model in everything.

Discuss the virtues of being an upright Muslim girl

An African adage says, “Charity begins at home.” If you want your girl child to be morally sound, you must continually educate her on that path. Please, do not leave it to teachers, peer groups, or religious leaders.

Discuss health-related matters:

When you discuss health, your girl will be exposed to a wide range of diseases that can be generated from poor hygiene and having an unlawful sexual partner.

Discuss emotion management:

Teach your girl how to handle their emotions instead of instilling fears because they are human too. Don’t think that your girl is too young to have a crush. Talk to them about her feelings and how to tame them.

Get “Dear Damsel’ Book:

My book ‘Dear Damsel’ prepares your adolescent girl for the next level after childhood. This book guides Muslim and non-Muslim parents and guardians in raising an upright girl.

Dear Damsel makes your work easier as a parent and guardian on how to guide your girl through puberty. Everything you need to discuss is in this book. The topics are broken down into smaller segments with a word tone that resonates with your teen girl.

Read first, then give your daughter to read it and discuss each topic together. Dear Damsel Book is available for sale in all parts of the world. All you have to do is click the link and place your order on Amazon.