DIVORCE: SAFER SIDE OR ESCAPE ROUTE?
A marriage contract is one that brings two different people together in order to cohabit intimately. That Allaah made this kind of union possible is a great miracle and an indication that it should be held sacred. The teaching is to overlook the subtle differences for peace and love to reign. Before the advent of toothpaste dispensers, we have heard couples fighting because someone was pressing the tube from the bottom upwards, while the other pressed it from the middle! It wasn’t just about the toothpaste anyway, it was just a marital time bomb waiting to explode.
Unfortunately, the extent to which individuals can overlook is widely varied and somewhat, unpredictable. Of course, ultimately calling off a marriage is usually due to a combination of several factors, but there will always be triggers and aggravating factors. Once the trigger is pulled, it becomes a vicious cycle and any attempted intervention (unless it’s divine), tends to fail. Let’s not forget also that the devil is constantly lurking around to blow every mistake and misunderstanding between couples out of proportion (Quran chapter 2 verse 102). How often do couples remember to seek Allaah’s refuge from shaițan? Some would argue that marriage is not just meant to work for some people. I’d say, well, should we always blame it on Qadar?
The steep increase in divorce rate in recent times is more than glaring and disturbing. The factors responsible are also well-known:
*failure to fulfil spousal responsibilities
*lack of empathy and communication
*disparities in level of God-consciousness
*sexual dysfunctions, infertility etc.
*infidelity and flirtations
*unnecessary interference from toxic in-laws and insincere friends
*domestic violence and other forms of abuse…
The list goes on and on.
There are many questions to be answered. What are we doing to reverse this trend? Can we differentiate between actual problems and mere excuses? Are we learning from the past mistakes? How often do we examine cases from either sides of the coin? When is it safe to hold on and when is it safer to say goodbye???