When not to say to a doctor: “AIN’T YOU A DOCTOR?”

* The clinic was so busy today. I’m so tired.
AIN’T YOU A DOCTOR?
(He knows what to do, he just needs some empathy)

* I have a headache/stomach ache/toothache etc.
AIN’T YOU A DOCTOR?
(“Oh! sorry” would have sufficed)

* I’m so broke.
AIN’T YOU A DOCTOR?
(He might be earning six figures, but he has five dependants, four charities he’s funding, three professional exams he’s saving for, and two months unpaid salaries)

* I don’t have a fiancé/fiancee/husband/wife.
AIN’T YOU A DOCTOR?
(He is always in the hospital, even when he tries to socialise, he’s constantly being called and texted by patients. You think he’s dating a nurse/fellow doctor? No. He’s just their rebound guy.)

* My son is sick.
AIN’T YOU A DOCTOR?
(What he’s trying to say is that, his son is sick but he can’t be there to take care of him. He was on call yesterday, he has wardrounds this morning followed by an operation list that might last till 10pm.)

* What’s the capital city of Bahrain?
AIN’T YOU A DOCTOR?
(And so? After cramming the names of all the arteries and veins in your body, he should also know all the capital cities in the world?)

* I want French fries and ice cream.
AIN’T YOU A DOCTOR?
(He knows. A little indulgence once in a while is not out of place. He can’t come and kill himself. Lol)

Khadijah Sanni-Tijani