REASONS WHY WOMEN DON’T WANT COWIVES (AND MY RESPONSE)
***لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسه
(None of you has become a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself). AlHadith.
*I’m still young, I need to enjoy my husband some more
***If you ask me, I prefer my husband to marry 2/3/4 now. Like, right now! I want us to be within the same age bracket so that I can easily get along with them. I can’t wait until I’m menopausal and too toxic to tolerate small small girls flirting with Habeebee. But hey! That’s just me!
*I don’t have enough faith to tolerate it. (Imaani mi ò gbé e)
***In other words, you don’t have enough faith in the Quran, in Allaah and in His Rosul.
أتؤمنون ببعض الكتاب و تكفرون ببعض؟
Really, you don’t need any extra faith to accept this decree of Allaah more than the one you already have which allows you to pray, fast, go for hajj, wear hijab/niqab etc.
*I am from a polygamous home. My experience was terrible and I don’t want my children to experience the same.
***Again, this is a sign of weak faith and I understand, it’s not easy, I must say. The success of a polygamous home rests heavily on the shoulders of the husband. That is why Allaah warned them that, if they know that they cannot be just (financially and physically), then one is better. Can you assist him to be just? Yes you can. Be prayerful and patient. Put your trust in Allaah and expect your reward from Him, and Him alone.
*I have hustled with him to build this empire. No woman will be allowed to come and enjoy from my sweat.
***Madam, take it easy. Yes, you have suffered with him. But again, patience is all you need. Embrace the poor girl and let her enjoy from the charity you have put forth. This will be recorded as manifolds of blessings for you. If your husband and cowife(ves) betray you, Allaah is the Best of Judges.
*I am too jealous to accept that.
***Of course. You should be jealous. A healthy amount of jealousy is acceptable. Verbally or behaviourally, there’s no sin in showing that you’re jealous. But you need to fear Allaah and know that He is watching you. Try your best to control your temper. Even in the household of the Prophet (saw) jealousy could not be ruled out, but the wives controlled themselves and the husband applied wisdom and justice.
Umm Salamah (RA) narrated that she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet (saw) and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and he (saw) said to his companions: “Eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother”. Then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Umm Salama and gave the dish of Umm Salama to Aisha.