THE MARRIAGE, THE KIDS AND THE OTHER ROOM.
This might sound “alakowe-ish” but I believe it should solve a common marital problem…..
Just like we potty-train kids once they begin to sit, I think we also need to “bed-train” them as early as possible. I’m not a fan of extremely large houses, but if you have been blessed with sufficient wealth, get a flat (or build a house) with enough rooms to cater for the children. Sharing a room with the kids, or not insisting that they sleep in a separate room, can be very frustrating. You’d feel chilly in the middle of the night, but what you find next to you is a bunch of kids and your ‘bae’ or ‘boo’ has been partially or totally displaced from the bed. What nonsense?!
Start early. Save up for the baby room even before you conceive. If you don’t have enough money, tell your family and friends that you need a baby cot, instead of them buying you multiple copies of the same stuff as baby gift. Cultivate the habit of putting the baby in her cot immediately she falls asleep because prolonged holding and bed sharing can be difficult to stop once the baby gets used to your comfy arms.
Minimize the use of baby carriers, kangaroo pouches and ‘backing’ the African style. These are all nice ways to foster bonding between you and your baby, but overdoing it may aggravate separation anxiety and then, breaking the cycle can become difficult.
So, please, let’s uphold the sanctity of “the other room” and let the kids go and sleep elsewhere! (Just ensure that they’ve done their adhkaar and they lie on the right side…)
“… They (your spouses) are clothing for you and you are clothing for them…” (Quran 2 verse 187)