Dear dad,
I’ve been meaning to write an elegy
but I don’t know how.
I don’t know how to numb the pain
of losing a father at a tender age.
I don’t know how to weave the words
that perfectly describe the way I feel.
I don’t know how to hold back the tears
that keep falling like a heavy rain.
I don’t know how to control the tremors
that overtake my hands when I try to write.
I don’t know how to retrieve the memories
which were wiped off when I heard the sad news.
I don’t know how to ask family and friends,
to tell me more about my own father.
I don’t know how to glance at your old pictures
without getting a severe migraine.
I don’t know how to get the golden pen
that deserves to write those poetic lines.
Dear dad, I’m so sorry
It’s almost thirteen years
and I can’t write an elegy for you.